When you’re in pain, it’s natural to curl in on yourself to protect the vital organs. We do this emotionally as well.
Our comfort zone of people, places, and activities will constrict to allow us to feel safe again.
This will look different for everyone, but the goal is to remove additional external sources of stress and uncertainty while we heal.
What next though?
The problem comes when we can’t get out.
That safe zone we established is comforting. That’s its job. But it isn’t where we are meant to live forever.
It can be scary out there beyond the boundary. That’s where we got hurt before. But there are amazing experiences out there waiting for us also.
Reconnecting with people can be difficult. They may have expectations of you based on who you used to be. What if your life is different now?
It definitely will be. That’s okay. You’re not the same either.
It’s unnerving to go back out into the world again knowing that you might get hurt. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s perfectly natural. You’ll experience a whole range of emotions.
Allow yourself to feel those emotions without judging them.
Then act anyway.
You can start small.
Choose a place or activity that makes you uncomfortable. It can be something you used to do regularly or something entirely new. Going to the park or the gym. Joining a book club.
Choose a small goal for yourself. Don’t get overambitious. Make it something manageable, something that’s an easy win. Maybe you go to the park and stay there for five minutes. After that, you can leave if you want. If you decide to stay, great, but there is no guilt in leaving after five minutes because you achieved your goal.
Each of these small victories will build your confidence. As your comfort zone expands, you can make the goals tougher or choose more than one. For example, at a gathering maybe you have to stay for ten minutes and say hello to one person you don’t already know.
There’s no need to shoot for the moon. You withdrew from the world for a valid reason so don’t beat yourself up that you can’t suddenly open your arms to everything right away.
Sometimes you need to build from scratch. The place you were is scorched earth and you feel that nothing of worth can grow there anymore.
You can go out and forge a new path, plant a new garden.
You are so much stronger than you know or give yourself credit for.
One breath at a time. One step at a time.
You can do this.
I believe in you.
