Why Do We Set Unrealistic Resolutions and Doom Ourselves to Failure
It’s the new year and that means it is time for resolutions. Everyone wants to know what our resolutions are. You see posts everywhere about “new year new you” and encouraging ambitious, life-changing goals for the coming months.
Yet all the research says that we’ll have abandoned our resolutions within two to three months. Tops.
What is going on?
Beginnings are hopeful by nature. They are filled with possibilities, a story not yet written. This, in turn, makes us hopeful about what we may be able to accomplish in our own lives.
We are also encouraged to think big by everyone around us. From family to friends to the people we follow on social media, the message is to take this opportunity of a new beginning to make big changes.
That blank page ahead gives us the confidence of infinite possibilities. False confidence.
The reality is that January 1 is just a number on a piece of paper hanging on the wall. It’s no different than December 31.
We choose to designate this day as the beginning of a new year, but it’s all subjective. There is nothing special about it.
Making change in our lives, real change that lasts, is about us.
Our life is the same as it was on December 31. We are the same people we were on December 31. Reality is the same.
A new year isn’t going to magically make things possible that seemed impossible the day before. It’s not going to make losing weight easier or asking for that raise at work less scary. All it can do is give you permission to take a step in a new direction.
Then you have to actually walk the walk.
Your hard work to change your diet and exercise regularly is what’s going to make you healthier. Your preparation and courage to approach your boss are what’s going to get you (a chance at) that raise. Your time and effort are what’s going to enable you to learn new skills.
You have to actually do the things you resolve to do and stick with it.
We designate January 1 as resolution time, but the reality is that you can start a new path anytime. When you decide to do the thing, that’s when you change your life.
If beginnings help you get over the inertia of the way your life has always been — try starting in the morning of a new day, at the start of a new week, the first day of a new month.
Don’t wait a whole year to make a change because you think you need that “new year new you” mojo. You don’t.
All you need to make meaningful change in your life is you.
